"Socializing is as exhausting as giving blood. People assume we loners are misanthropes, just sitting thinking, ‘Oh, people are such a bunch of assholes,’ but it’s really not like that. We just have a smaller tolerance for what it takes to be with others. It means having to perform. I get so tired of communicating."
--- Anneli Rufus
I read this quote today and it resonated with me immediately. This is how I am in most social situations. Sometimes I get accused of being snobby and thinking I'm too good to talk to people. I'm not and I don't. Sometimes people tell me I'm just shy and if I make more of an effort I'll have no trouble being comfortable in a crowd. I don't consider myself to be shy, because I have no trouble saying what I think needs to be said, regardless of who I might be speaking to, if I actually have something to say.
It's just that when there's people around I don't often have much to say. I find making the effort to stay engaged and interested mentally exhausting. It's not a judgement on the people I'm around. It's me finding interacting to be a huge effort I find completely draining. It was nice to see my feelings summed up so well in one paragraph.
--- Anneli Rufus
I read this quote today and it resonated with me immediately. This is how I am in most social situations. Sometimes I get accused of being snobby and thinking I'm too good to talk to people. I'm not and I don't. Sometimes people tell me I'm just shy and if I make more of an effort I'll have no trouble being comfortable in a crowd. I don't consider myself to be shy, because I have no trouble saying what I think needs to be said, regardless of who I might be speaking to, if I actually have something to say.
It's just that when there's people around I don't often have much to say. I find making the effort to stay engaged and interested mentally exhausting. It's not a judgement on the people I'm around. It's me finding interacting to be a huge effort I find completely draining. It was nice to see my feelings summed up so well in one paragraph.
3 comments:
Some people tend rabbit on with useless nonsense just to hear the sound of their own voice, very annoying indeed :-).
I grew up thinking I was shy because that's what I'd been told, but I've come to realise that I'm not. I think it starts as an easy way for a parent to explain a child who just doesn't want to be involved or one of the crowd.
I'm happy enough to jump in and talk to people if I'm in the mood and if they're talking about stuff that is interesting to me. But making conversation for the sake of conversation and pretending to be interested is something I find hard and just don't want to do.
It's exhausting for me to be cheery and chatty at the checkout.
I really like that comment. I'm considered one of those "people person's" but most of the time I wish people would just shutup, It is really tiring to stay engaged. Glad others feel the same...
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